We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. ~Isaiah 64:8

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

An Adoption Self-Assessment

I've been looking at lots of adoption websites in the past day as I search for information to help hubby and I make this decision. A couple of websites have featured "self-assessments" for prospective adoptive parents to use. These are a good starting point to discussion. However, I find myself thinking that if indeed the Lord is calling us to adoption many of these issues need to be addressed in a much different way. Instead of asking, "Can I?" the question becomes "How will I?"

Here are some of the initial questions - there are more specific ones, but I'll wait to post those as we get to those decision points. These are my thougts now, I'm sure I'll revisit these later.

Do you clearly understand why you want to adopt?
I do believe the Lord may be calling us to adoption. All three of our children have expressed a desire to have another sibling. My middle son was the first and most persistant, but now my daughter has taken up the adoption banner, too, in hopes of having a baby sister.

I believe we have a lot to offer a child. I certainly feel both hubby and I would enjoy having another little one in the house - and we are good (not perfect, but good) at this parenting thing. We are devoted parents and spouses.

Are both parents committed to adoption?
Yes - we both believe adoption is an excellent thing for a Christan family. We believe whole-heartedly in the adoption process as "true religion". And we will be utterly committed to it specifically for our family if that is the Lord's will for us.

Does your lifestyle allow you the time necessary to meet the needs of the child you are seeking to adopt?
Yes. I am a stay-at-home mom and we homeschool our kids, so we are with them quite a good deal. We are very family-focused!

How will adoption change the dynamics of your family and do you have what you need to make it work?
I don't know how adoption will change the dynamics of our family - it will depend a lot on the child's needs, age, etc. But I know what it is like to welcome a new child and make the needed adjustments (having done it 3 times). I do know that hubby and I are pretty good at "rolling with the punches".

Do you have deeper issues in your marriage which you are hoping the adoption will help with?
Only growth in Christ. Hubby and I have, truly, a good, solid marriage. I'm sure as we walk through this adoption journey we'll find areas we need to work on, but we are not seeking adoption in order to "fix" something lacking in our marriage.

Do you realize that the notion of saving an orphan and their gratitude to you for doing so is not a foundational reason on which to base an adoption?

Finally, do you possess these needed characteristics: Perseverance, Patience, Commitment, Resourcefulness?
I hope so, and if we lack, we'll pray for the Lord to provide!

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