We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. ~Isaiah 64:8

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Examining Adoption Issues

Part 1 of a series: Examining Adoption Issues

I wish I could remember where I found these great questions, but I don't. I'd love to engane in a conversation about how others approach these questions...so leave comments!!!

Here are the first set of questions for the adoptive parent to consider:

How do I feel about not being genetically related to my child?
In the past, I thought very hypothetically about loving a child not related to me and thought, "Sure, I could do that." But I don't know that I really BELIEVED it. However, having been closely involved with my neighbor's adoption of a daughter, I now know that it would be a delight to love the child the Lord brings to us. I adore my little YuYu and she's not even my daughter!

Honestly, I am more concerned about establishing that mother-child bond. One of my biological children and I had some bonding issues in the first couple of days after the birth, so I know how essential this is.

How do I see myself talking about adoption with my child?
Gulp! Here is an area where I really haven't begun to put my thoughts together. I still have time, right? :) This is one I'll be coming back to.

Any resources or wisdom you can share?

How will I help my child to understand his/her "pre-placement background," when there is little information, abandonment, or a difficult history?
Double Gulp! One I'll need to learn more about and come back to.

Again, resources or wisdom needed!

Am I prepared to maintain my child's positive identification with his/her origins and culture?
One thing I've learned about myself is that I love cultures of all types - and so does my husband. We will delight in becoming a (whatever the child's birth country)-American family and regularly incorporating our child's heritage in our daily lives. I can imagine learning new recipes to add to our family meals, enjoying local cultural events, and becoming involved in a local community related to her culture.

Other ideas? Or - how have you done this in purposeful and casual ways?

Am I open to dealing with birthparent issues, which are just as relevant and important in international adoption, as they are in domestic adoption?
Yes, I am open, but in all honesty, I don't have much of an idea how this happens with an international adoption. Check this off as another area about which to learn.

Please someone educate me! How does one deal with birthparent issues in the international adoption situation?

2 comments:

bugs parents said...

Hi, I know your path as not lead you to China, but you might want to consider joining the China Lifebooks Yahoo group. They discuss a lot of these issues as they work together to prepare an album to share with their adopted child. There might be a similar group for adoptions from Armenia.

fearlesschef said...

We always told my brother that we needed him almost more than he needed us. While his life has changed even from when he first came here with the death of our mother and my father's remarriage, his presence in our life has been a great salvation. God knew that while the road would be tough, we were all in the right place. C has brought us so much comfort and was the joy of my mother's life in her last months.