7 Quick Takes - One Year of Adoption

One
One year ago this week (the 20th), we became the legal parents of our dear Baby L.  She was almost 5 months at the time. The past few days I've been rereading our adoption travel posts and remembering the excitement and nervousness of the weeks just before we traveled to get her.

Two
 It has now been nearly a year since we met her and nearly 10 months since she's been home.  I'm amazed at her progress.  When we first met her, she was not really fond of  any kind of feeding (having been cup-fed by coercion in the foster home).  We celebrated getting her to take more than 2 oz at a time...now she downs 8oz in  seconds!  And she loves to eat, but still likes to eat on Her Terms only.  I'm ok with that, most of the time.

Three
Learning how to take care of her skin and hair (both tending to be very dry and needing lots of moisture and gentle care) has been a wonderful thing.  It gives me great confidence when I manage a cute style or see the results of good moisturizing.  One thing I've realized is that white people don't use enough moisture on our skin and hair - especially curly-haired white people like me.

Four
There is such a thing as reverse discrimination and it can be very damaging to other family members.  I don't fault people for doting over our Baby L - she is darn cute, and I realize that it is unusual to see a white mama with a black baby.  However,  we've gotten preferential treatment due to this.  Treatment I know other white babies or black babies don't get.  I guess I should just enjoy it while it lasts...but I have another daughter who sometimes is very hurt by the excessive attention her baby sister gets.  It is hard to watch a stranger or friend make a fuss over Baby L (saying how pretty she looks, etc), while my older daughter stands by waiting to be noticed.  And let me just clarify this goes WAY beyond the attention my other babies got and their older siblings had to endure.

Five
Part of this attention involves physical attention that isn't comfortable for Baby L.  Nothing really inappropriate - often curious touching of her hair.  But she isn't really comfortable with people getting in her space.  It is hard to set the boundary when what they are doing isn't really abnormal - just a bit too much for her.

Six
Loving an adopted child is the same and somewhat different than a biological child.  There is that familiar physicality to it (I love the smell of my kids and the nuzzle their little cheeks).  But I'm often struck by how blessed we are to have her in our family.  Her presence with us seems such a clear gift of God.  Not that biological kids aren't, but due to the biology of humans...it isn't surprising we end up with kids, right?  But adoption is outside that.  We had to really seek and work to have her join our family - and it really (obviously) required God's hand. I'm shocked by how well our family fits her.  It is like our family was designed to for her...and of course it was.

Seven
I wonder what the future has in store for us.  Sometimes I find myself worrying about how we'll handle the racial differences, her adoption story, etc, but then I remember what  good friend often says, "Just do the next thing."  Don't get too hung up on worrying about the future...just do what comes next.  Right now that is getting her to be more comfortable with new people and new situations.  So, we'll just work on that for now.

Have a lovely weekend and check out more 7 Quick Takes at Jen's blog.

One Month Home!

You know time is a funny thing. It has a way of bending and being oddly different based on experiences, doesn't it? It seems to have a dual-nature. In fact, how often do things seem to have passed by quickly and yet, been the same for a very long time?

Well, that is how the past 4 weeks have been! It is hard to believe it has been a month already that Lydia has been home. And yet, at the same time, it seems she's been here so long!

Here are our updates and milestones for this week:

Eating has been her biggest area of concern since we recieved her. It has also been her biggest area of improvement! She is now taking 6 oz very regularly and eating solids (baby food and some finger foods) happily. She particularly likes bits of bread or toast just big enough for her to pick up.

She is regularly sleeping through the night. Either from 8pm to 4am and then down for a few more hours or 8pm to 11pm/12pm then to 6 am and then down for another hour or two.

We had friends over a couple days this week and she did well with their visits.

Her crawling and pulling up (and trying to cruise around the furniture) is getting more coordinated and determined.

She got new earrings! (see photo below)

And we've gotten some wonderful new products for her hair by Carol's Daughter. We were looking for the Black Vanilla line of products, but our Sephora store didn't have it so we are trying the Tui line of products (shampoo, leave-in conditioner). I think I'm also going to pick up a deep conditioner to try, too.

A bit of news not related to her progress: We recieved her Certificate of Citizenship! This was a bit unexpected...we thought we'd have to apply for it after readoption, but it turns out that she entered the US on an IR3 visa and was a citizen from the moment she was on US soil!


Here are some photos:




The new earrings! Pretty little CZ flowers. We'll save the real diamonds for later, dear.

Uncle Peter, in town for business from Arkansas, got to come meet you. We know Aunt Karen is jealous, but she'll be here soon!

Beth enjoyed getting you to giggle. We all enjoyed watching her be silly.

Our friends Susie, Nancy, Lily, and Rex came to play. Here is Rex playing peek-a-boo!













And here is Susie enjoying those sweet smiles, too!

First Week Home

As you can probably imagine, time for blogging has become pretty scarce. So, no long-winded posts for now!

It has been nearly one week since L was introduced to her entire family and her new home. Here are some things I've noticed in our first week:

* She has gained 4 lbs since we had her weighed at the health clinic in Accra. FOUR POUNDS! I think I need to post before and after photos, don't you?

* The stare factor at JFK was just as noticeable as it was in Accra. That shocked me a little. The stares weren't quite as obvious, but there were still a lot of head-turning going on.

* There are times I've avoided going places this week just due to the attention and distraction I'll create with her. She is cute and it is a curiosity to see a very white lady with a very black baby. So, far it has all been positive attention, but for me it is a bit much even so. Something I'll have to get used to.

* I absolutely adore her dark skin. And her hair has really softened up now that I've gotten some good conditioner products for it. I'm saving up for some Carol's Daughter products - I hear these are the best.

* Yesterday, I did school with one child and got to talk "shop" (ie. homeschool stuff) with Dear Neighbor. Wow. Did it feel good to do something normal and have a conversation about something other than visas, the embassy, adoption, Ghana, etc! I feel like life is getting started again after being on hold.

* My upstairs is a WRECK! Luckily, we've managed to keep the downstairs in relatively good shape, but the upstairs (particularly E's room, the playroom, and our master closet) is a disaster. Erik and the kids are going to try to put it to rights this weekend. I'll feel better to have a somewhat organized home...organized chaos, yes, but organized nonetheless!

* As much as I hate to admit it, our six weeks together with no other distractions really seems to have helped her with the transition into family life. She's done great with a new climate, surroundings, dogs/cats, siblings, and even being introduced to new people. I'm really surprised by how quickly she seems to be assimilating. I am trying to keep a close eye on her for any signs of shutting down or getting stressed due to all these changes. She has moments where only Mom will do, but for the most part she seems to be really taking it all in stride.

Please keep praying for our friends, Ben and Aimee, who are still in Ghana. Their DNA has arrived at the Fairfax Identity Lab in Richmond, VA and should be done in a week to ten days. Then it will be sent directly to the US Embassy in Accra. Pray that the processing goes very quickly (maybe even quicker than a week) and has positive and conclusive results. Pray also that the embassy then speedily processes their visa.

The Family is Whole Again

Yes, we are finally home! Baby L and I arrived home late last Friday night (March 20th) to adoring siblings and relieved hubby. You can check out our homecoming story and photos, as well as some notes and photos from our first week home.

It is good to be home!


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First Week Photos

Some photos from L's first week!











The highchair has a pretty cool view!













Ahh - the "Johnny-Jump-Up" - this is one of her favorite pasttimes right now.











A little family time.











H gets to feed littlest sister.














S shares a snuggle with L.












E, H and L having a little floor playtime.

Finally HOME

Finally, and finally, HOME!

Packing was fun

On our way to the airport!

Our facilitator's brother helped us through the check-in process at the airport (facilitator parked the car). I was very thankful he was there to help with the luggage! The check-in process is quite complicated. There is the initial customs check, two ticket/passport checks prior to the actual Delta desk, a checked-luggage search (manual and mandatory), immigration (and if you've overstayed your expected stay, as I did, you get to go visit the Immigration officers and pay a "fee"), then the first and most complete security check (x-ray, liquids, metal detector), then a ticket/passport/visa check, a carry-on luggage search (manual and mandatory - and sometimes a gender-specific body pat down), and, at last, the long walk out the tarmac to the airplane steps.

I had a few problems along the way (was an hour late due to the US time change...flight was leaving an hour earlier...ooops! and had to pay the immigration "fee", but the officer had mercy and accepted my 17 cedi rather than the "required" 40 cedi) and a few blessings (was allowed to take my thermos of hot water for baby bottles and one of the ticket/passport/visa checkers called me out of line to sit down while he did my check).

We were able (another huge blessing on a PACKED flight) to get a bulkhead seat with an empty chair between me and another lady with a child. I also was able to use the bassinet - which was a huge help! L was really so good on the flight. She had a few fussy periods, but for the most part she was really happy. We played and walked for the majority of the flight. She did sleep just a little bit -2 half hour naps...that is IT! So, I didn't sleep at all. It was tiring being in baby play mode for all that time!

Here is L in her bassinet.

Had many people who helped along the way - kind flight attendants and gate personnel, passengers who helped with overhead bins, Dan who carried my second carry-on bag all the way to immigration at JFK, the immigration officer who helped me fill out my form and moved me up to an open window, another passenger who helped me with my bag onto the second flight, and Dan, again, who carried my extra bag off the plane in Charlotte and all the way to baggage claim! (HI, DAN!)

It was SO GOOD to see the kids - but they looked HUGE! I swear they got bigger while I was gone. L was sound asleep in the wrap, so they were as quiet with their "Hello"s as they could be.

She got a little upset on the ride home, so I squished between the seats and sat beside her. Not at all safe, but after six weeks of riding without a seatbelt it didn't seem so bad.

Here we are coming in the front door.

It was nearly midnight by the time we'd all gotten in and had some snuggle time. L was practically loopy, but she seemed to enjoy the goofy faces all the kids made.

L surrounded by siblings

Trying out a "yoga" pose inspired by L.

All snuggled up!

Leaving on a jet plane...

Yes! I have L's visa in my hands! We will be leaving early tomorrow morning (10am) and expect to pull into Charlotte at a little before 10pm (that is 2am Ghana time). It will be a very long day! I'm finishing my packing tonight and trying to get L to sleep so I can have a bath before the morning. Our flight is at 10:20, but we have to arrive 3 hours early for the various security checks.

While I am very happy about heading home, my joy is tempered. Our traveling companions, Aimee and Ben, are not going to be traveling with us. Due to some complications with the interview of the birthmom, the embassy has requested DNA testing to confirm parentage. There is no question in anyone's minds (Aimee and Bed, our facilitator, our agency, me) that she is the biomom...but the embassy needs more proof because of some misstatements made.

It is really too bad the embassy can't just judge by their appearances because A (their daughter) and her biomother look strikingly alike.

The DNA will be sent to a lab in Richmond, VA and will then be sent directly back to the embassy. When they recieve the positive results, a visa will automatically be issued. No further interviews or paperwork. The DNA process takes 3-4 weeks.

It nearly broke my spirit when Ben turned away from the interview window and shook his head. He was very upset, but kept it together so he could do the work needed to be done today. Aimee is so upset, of course. She doesn't understand why this is happening...and I'm right there with her. All they want is to bring their daughter home!

We started this trip together and we've been together every step of the way. I HATE leaving without them. I HATE even more that they are having to stay longer. Please pray for them and for the DNA process. They need a miracle!

Having been here 6 weeks already, I can tell you another month really seems like an eternity. This whole trip has been entirely emotionally draining. International adoption is a bit of an emotional minefield

Please pray for them!

Finally - GOOD NEWS!

I had this whole email typed out about how we didn't get the passports today and we'd just see how it went tomorrow...when guess what...

WE GOT THE PASSPORTS!

Our facilitator asked the passport director's secretary (with whom he'd become friends after spending so much time there the past two days) to call him if the director came back in this evening. Apparently, that is how he works, meetings all day and then in for some desk work in the evening and the secretary has to be there for all of it. (I'm just guessing here.)

Tomorrow early morning (like 4am) our facilitator will go out to Kasoa where the birthmoms are staying and bring them in to town. We'll meet at the embassy as early as possible - maybe even by 7:30 (when they open). The embassy will review the birthmoms' passports (to be sure they are who they say they are), possibly reinterview them, possibly reinterview us, and then we will be done. We should know before we leave if we are approved to get the visas. The embassy can turn around visas in 24 hours...and they have for the other family here (going home tomorrow - Yea, Faubles!). So we hope/expect to get them Thursday and fly on Friday.

Again, glitches could still happen, but it looks really good that we'll be HOME on Friday!

I'm going to be HOME!!!

No News is not Good News

Well, the title says it all. The passports for the birthmoms (their required photo idea for the US Embassy-an additional requirement) are waiting to be signed. We were told that they were done and ready for pick up, but this was not the entire truth. Unfortunately, the passport office director was out of the office in meetings all day today, so we had no chance of getting them signed today and thus, no embassy visit.

I wish we'd been given a true assessment of the situation instead of being told the "rosey" picture. It is like having the rug pulled out from under you and has been, unfortunately, par for the course at each hurdle during this in-country process. It isn't really any one person's fault but rather a "perfect storm" situation.

I'd love to say that "maybe tomorrow", but I really can't say that. All I can say is, "We'll see."

If ANYONE has any contacts with the Ghana Passport Office director, we sure could use a small favor! We just need to catch him at the office and get those passports signed. (If you have such a contact, would you leave a comment? Or contact my hubby, if you know him personally.)

We distracted ourselves today with blog posting and a walk to a batik store (closed, we'll go back tomorrow). Please pray for our disappointed hearts....and for a miracle tomorrow. We really, really, really need a miracle.

7 Quick Takes: Stuck in Africa!

Our 2 week adoption trip has turned into what will most likely be a 6 week adventure...if I'm lucky - and thus, the theme of my 7 quick takes today.

One
It is truly amazingly hot here. Really - like Africa hot. Even though the temperatures are not exceedingly higher than what we experience at home in North Carolina, the sun is much stronger and the heat is unrelenting. While here, I've realized that while it gets hot at home, we don't really have to deal with it as much at home - all our stores are air conditioned, our cars are air conditioned, and we have whole house air conditioning (not just a room or two).

Two
The past 4 weeks we have had to live day in and day out with a great deal of uncertainty: when would we get our approval, when would we get our visa (still a question), will there be electricity tonight, will there be water to take a bath or do laundry tomorrow, will our food arrive in the next hour, and so on. It teaches you to make do and live without holding too tightly to your own schedule.

Three
There are many sides to life in Ghana today. We've seen the extreme poverty that one often imagines in Africa, stayed in an area of lower to middle class apartments (our first guest house), currently staying in an upper middle class area (our second guest house), and we will soon enjoy another visit to Coconut Grove and its "upperclass" treatment. While there are areas that have no basic services (water, electricity, etc) within the city and outlying areas, there is also a very nice, modern, western-style mall. It is a culture of contrasts as it grows and strives to become a successful African democracy.

Four
The local cuisine is really delicious - at least to me! I'm a fairly adventurous eater, so others may not feel the same way...but I've enjoyed it all: Banku and Okra Stew, Jollof Rice, Red Red, Piri Piri, and LOTS of good fresh fish.

Five
"Obruni" - wow, who knew we'd get so much attention as "white people" (that is what "Obruni" means). The white mamas and black babies cause a big stir wherever we go. It is good natured curiousity usually, but the staring and pointing and shouting of "Obruni" is tiresome after a while. It is hard to be "on display" and watched so much. It is part of international adoption (and transracial adoption) to suddenly be "conspicuous", but that is all the more so here!

Six
The longer I stay here, the more I want to come back...but only so long as I can leave when I want to! We've had some major hurdles getting L's visa (and the other family traveling with us and adopting a similarly aged baby have, too). While I respect and appreciate the US's desire to make sure all adoptions are "clean", there is some disrespect being shown by the US Embassy for Ghanaian government's ability to do this in ways that make sense within their culture and legal system. I may post more about this when I return home as it is a long and involved story. We do believe that once our birth mothers' passports are completed (should be in 5 business days), we will be able to complete the US Embassy's requirements for evidence and we will recieve our visas! AND WE CAN GO HOME!

Seven
Thankfully, hubby has gone ahead and headed home to be with our other three kids. A month is just too long to be away...at least unexpectedly. I feel so much better knowing he'll be there soon. We expect that I'll have L's visa in about 10-12 days and should be able to leave on March 18th or 20th - depending on when we get the visa in hand. I'm not really looking forward to the 10 hour flight with my wiggly (she's amazingly strong and squirmy!) baby on my lap. But we'll manage!

Today is Ghana's Independence Day. I'm hanging out with L (who is having her morning nap - the only way I can manage any typing!) with the Independence Day ceremonies on the television. The uniforms make me wilt just looking at them.


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Hello from Accra, Ghana!

We are sweating it out in Accra! You've never really experienced heat until you've driven half an hour in a hot, cramped taxi in a fumey city, with a wiggly, sweaty baby on your lap...LOL!

I'll post more about our trip here, it has been a good one, but with some downs, too. The best thing, though, is that we have our new daughter and she is doing great! Want pictures?

Uploading is slow, so here is a favorite one until we get home...

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We've got her!

Here we are in Ghana! And here is our dear L:




Isn't she a cutie pie? She's making great progress in so many areas - and really beginning to show a distinct preference and reliance on Erik and I. My favorite thing is her silly grin - always with that little tongue sticking out! Oh, and her squeals of laughter!
We've had our first visit to the embassy (to submit our i600) and now we wait for our visa interview. While we wait we are enjoying Accra.
Sunday we went to church at our Bishop's cathedral (Cathedral of the Holy Trinity - Accra). Monday we had a late lunch out at a local restaurant that gets rave reviews for "western" food (well deserved reviews - we had AWESOME cheeseburgers!). On Tuesday, Erik and I made an outing to an internet cafe. (I know that sounds minor, but come to Accra - with a baby and you'll understand what a major outing that was!) Yesterday, we had a big adventure by hiring a taxi to take us up to the University of Ghana for a look at the Archeological Department museum. Today, we took L to a health clinic to get her last round of vaccinations before she leaves the country. Tomorrow is Friday and our facilitator tells us a bad day for traffic in Accra, so we are sticking close to home, or rather guest house.
We hope to make it out to do some bead and fabric shopping this weekend...and then a trip out of the city into the countryside.
Pray for a speedy processing of L's visa!

We are very shortly off to meet our daughter. Before we know it, we'll be bringing her home. So many of you have shared this journey with us and I know you are anxious to meet her - and hold her and love on her! We are just thrilled that there are so many around us who love her.

There are some things you'll need to know before we get home. As an adopted child, she'll need lots of time to develop her attachement to us, her parents. It may see odd (especially if you compare it to how parents handle a birth child), but we will for some time need to keep her very close to us - physically and literallly. We will also need to be the only ones who feed her or do any "caretaking" for sometime. These are the things that are part of the attachment cycle for an infant.

If everything goes well, she'll get a good start on the attachement process and then will be able to begin meeting lots of new people- and learning that they can take care of her, too (but that Mom and Dad are the main people). We don't know how long that will take, but it is of utmost importance that she has all the time she needs to get bonded to us.

We also have to keep in mind that she is facing so many changes (sights, smells, tastes, sounds, etc) that we need to keep her world as calm as we can - limiting new experiences until she gets used to just everyday life with us. It may be some time before we are able to really take her "out in the world", and even then it will be limited.

We know all this seems a bit odd, but we've learned through our adoptive parent training how vitally important it is for her long-term health.

From the website Af3verFamily.org - lots of great articles and info for adoptive families and their families and friends. Here's a great list of Do's and Don'ts:

Dos & Don’ts for Family & Friends of Adoptive Parents

Do
1. Offer household help (running errands, preparing meals that can go right from the freezer to the oven, etc.) so the mother can spend more time holding the child.

2. Trust the mother’s instincts. Even a first time mother may notice subtle symptoms that well-meaning family and friends attribute to “normal” behavior.

3. Accept that attachment issues are difficult for anyone outside of the mother to see and understand.

4. Be supportive even if you think everything looks fine to you.

5. Allow the parents to be the center of the baby’s world. One grandfather, when greeting his grandson, immediately turns him back to his mom and says positive statements about his good mommy.

6. Tell the baby every time you see her what a good/loving/safe mommy she has.

7. When the parents need someone to care for the baby for a night out, offer to babysit in the child’s home. (After the child has been home for a substantial period of time.)

8. As hard as it may be for you, abide by the requests of the parents. Even if the baby looks like she really wants to be with Grandma, for example, she needs to have a strong attachment to her parents first. Something as simple as passing the baby from one person to another or allowing others, even grandparents, to hold a baby who is not “attached” can make the attachment process that much longer and harder. Some parents have had to refrain from seeing certain family members or friends because they did not respect the parents’ requests.

9. Accept that parenting children who are at-risk for or who suffer from attachment issues goes against traditional parenting methods and beliefs. Parenting methods that work for many children can be detrimental to a child with attachment issues.

10. Remember that there is often a honeymoon period after the child arrives. Many babies do not show signs of grief, distress, or anxiety until months after they come home. If the parents are taking precautions, they are smart and should be commended and supported!

Don’t
1. Assume an infant is too young to suffer from emotional issues related to attachment. Babies are not immune.

2. Underestimate a new mother’s instincts that something isn’t right.

3. Judge the mother’s parenting abilities. What looks like spoiling or coddling may be exactly what the child needs to overcome a serious attachment disorder. Parenting methods that work for many children can be detrimental to a child with attachment issues.

4. Make excuses for the child’s behaviors or try to make the mother feel better by calling certain behaviors “normal”. For example, many children who suffer from attachment issues may be labeled strong-willed by well-meaning family members. While being strong-willed can be seen as a positive personality trait, this type of behavior in an attachment-impaired child may signify problems.

5. Accuse the mother of being overly sensitive or neurotic. She is in a position to see subtle symptoms as no one else can.

6. Take it personally if asked to step back so the parents can help their child heal and form a healthy and secure attachment. You may be asked not to hold the baby for more than a minute. This is not meant to hurt you. It is meant to help prove to the baby who his mommy and daddy are. Up until now the child’s experience has been that mommies are replaceable. Allowing people to hold the baby before he has accepted his forever mommy and daddy are can be detrimental to the attachment process.

7. Put your own time frames on how long attachment should take. One mother was hurt when she was chastised by a relative who couldn’t understand…after all, the baby had been home six months. It could take weeks, months, even years. Every child is different.

8. Offer traditional parenting advice. Some well-meaning family members will tell a new mother not to pick the baby up every time she cries because it will spoil her. A child who is at-risk or who suffers from attachment issues must be picked up every single time she cries. He needs consistent reinforcement that this mommy/daddy will always take care of her and always keep her safe.

9. Fall into the appearance trap. Some babies/toddlers with attachment issues can put on a great show to those outside of the mother/father. What you see is not always a true picture of the child. Even babies as young as 6-months-old are capable of “putting on a good face” in public.

10. Lose hope. With the right kind of parenting and therapy, a child with attachment issues can learn to trust and have healthy relationships. But it does take a lot of work and a good understanding of what these children need.

Last day...

- Purchase dog food and cat food - CHECK
- Deliver dogs, crates, food, leads to friends' house - CHECK
- Drop return to Lands End (via Sears) - CHECK
- Enjoy a Starbucks and a croissant - CHECK (hehehe)
- Contact info packages mailed to Mom and friend - CHECK
- Purchase Valentine's Day cards and mail to family - CHECK
- Purchase some extra batteries for camera - CHECK
- Iron and starch my "dressy" linen jacket (just in case we need to dress up) - CHECK
- Clean bathrooms, vacuum & dust, put away laundry - CHECK
- Get cash for trip - CHECK
- Clean kitchen (dishes washed, sink scrubbed, trash out) - CHECK
- Clean out the fridge
- Paint my toe nails (one must have their priorities!) - CHECK
- Enjoy a "date" with hubby (no movie - but a yummy dinner out at our favorite mexican place) - CHECK
- Suitcases in car - CHECK

We are ready to get up in the morning and go! Just ignore the current weather forecast for Charlotte - pray it doesn't delay our flight.

2 days to go...

Well, today was a good day!

Neither Erik nor I slept well last night (from about 4am on we both tossed and turned...just so much to be thinking about right now). So, when it was time to get up for church, well, I really wanted to just stay in bed and have a lazy morning. While I love my church, sometimes I'm more tired after a long morning at church. But, Erik managed to get me out of bed by bribing me with Starbucks. (One of the perks about our church's current temporary location - we are right next to a Starbucks!) And you know what - church was wonderful and I came home filled up and ready to go!

Our congregation prayed us off on our trip and it was wonderful to get so many hugs and words of encouragement. I know I'm biased, but our "little" church is really a fantastic example of the Body of Christ - so much love and support!

We got to talk to the kids by SKYPE today - and they are all enjoying their first day with Uncle Peter and Aunt Karen. It was good to see them and hear them - especially after we both noted how QUIET the house is. :)

This afternoon we finished our packing. Other than last-minute items like cosmetics and computer, we are all packed! Our large suitcase is stuffed, but still under the weight limit. Whew! We also rearranged the Master to fit in a "Co-Sleeper" right by our bed for L. She'll need to stay close by at night for a while until she has become comfortable and assured that we will be there when she wakes up. I'll probably have her nap in her regular crib so that she'll get used to that bed, too.

Tomorrow, we drop the dogs at a friends' house and have a few errands to run (some items to get in the mail), clean up the house...and then maybe, just maybe, we'll catch a movie in the afternoon. Our last "date" for a while, I guess.

Three days and counting!

Three days until we leave for Ghana! Lots to do...

Early this morning, Erik and I got up and bundled the kids in the van to start their trip through the Smokies and on to a meeting point outside Nashville, TN. They were all happy and excited to be going to see their "cousins" in Arkansas. (Not real cousins, but very good friends!) I hear from Erik that they did great and the transfer to the cousins' car was uneventful...although E did get a little clingy towards the end. Erik should be home around 7 - in time to join me at Supper Club

Here's a peek at their stuff. On the far left is there box of school work and games. In the middle is the "goody box" - little gifts for all the kids to enjoy and some Valentine's Day gifts, too. And of course their three suitcases.











Today, I've enjoyed a very quiet house. Put away all the lovely shower gifts, finally, and straightened up the girls' room. Still have to hang a shelf, but Erik will help with that. :) Cleaned up the house a bit - hoping to get it all nice and neat before we leave. Made copies of all our important documents - 1 copy to leave here with friends, 1 copy for the checked baggage, and of course the originals will be in our carry on.

I thought you might enjoy seeing some photos of the girls' room:

So, you want to see what my impressive packing prowess? Look at our carry ons!

Here's what we managed to fit in here:

- an electric tea kettle (for boiling drinking water and water for bottles) - takes up half the smaller bag!
- a travel pillow
- a travel umbrella
- an extra pair of shoes a piece
- my sun hat, Erik's baseball hat
- all our "unmentionables" and socks
- laundry supplies (bungee cord line, sink stopper, small pack of detergent)
- 10 or so diapers (5 ea of two diff sizes)
- 1 bottle and some liners
- 1 bullet thermos (stuffed with tubes of powdered formula)
- small flashlight
- electric converter and plug adapters
- baby wrap (carrier)
- 5 or 6 baby outfits (couple diff sizes)
- a couple onesies (diff. sizes)
- few pairs of baby socks (diff. sizes)
- all of Erik's clothes for the trip (pants, shorts, 4-5 tops)
- most of my clothes (pants, capris, skirt, 4-5 tops)
- all our medications and such
- bibs, 2 receiving blankets (various uses)
- a very special bunny (Hi, Dear Neighbor!)
- probably some other stuff I'm forgetting!

We are also carrying on a backpack (with our ziplock baggies of liquids, books, camera, IDs and such, another travel pillow) and a laptop bag (with laptop, our file of adoption paperwork - well, not all of our paperwork - that would fill a suitcase).

Tomorrow we work on the checked baggage. While we aren't taking much more in the way of clothes, we do have lots of "stuff" to pack in there. I think we could whittle it down to 1 bag if we had to, but we really will need extra room to bring home gifts and momentos (and lots of Ghanaian clothes for the family!). There are many things we are taking over that will be left behind (gifts and such) or used up (formula, diapers)...so I think we'll do fine!

Our last evening together as a family of 5

Tonight is our last evening together as a family of 5. Tomorrow morning Erik will drive the kids halfway to AR to meet our good friends who will be taking care of them while we are gone. And the next time we are all together, God willing, we will be a family of 6. It is very strange to think about.

With adoption, I've found that while you abstractly know you will be gaining a new family member there are so many unknowns and delays, that you don't or can't really absorb that fact until it is absolutely upon you. All of this has seemed a bit like it has been happening to another family that just looks like us. :) But now, with the baby shower and our travel so imminent...it is beginning to really sink in - we will have 4 children! We will be a party of SIX! It is exciting, but there is also a bit of apprehension, of course.

I remember feeling that way before giving birth, too. "How will the baby's needs impact my other kids, family, etc." "What type of personality will the baby have?" "Are we sure we are ready for this?" etc, etc. Of course, you are never really ready for a new child in the family - you just get as ready as you can and be prepared to be flexible!

I have moments (and I suspect Erik does too) of thinking, "Why are we going through all this?" And then I reflect back to H's simplistic and lovely question, "Hey, mom, when are you going to have another baby? We've got four seats in this van, you know.", that started it all. I remember that we began walking this path because we really believed God wasn't done growing our family...we had no idea our next child would end up halfway across the world!

Then I look at her sweet, little face and remember that she has nobody able or willing to take care of her...and I KNOW why we are doing all this - She's our daughter!

A few nights ago, I had the most lovely and real dream...I dreamed that I made her LAUGH - one of those cute soft-gurgly baby laughs! It is a sound I truly can't wait to hear!

7 Quick Takes - Jan 30

Another week of Jen's 7 Quick Takes...

As I expected, blogging has been spotty, but I didn't want to miss the last 7 Quick Takes before e leave on our adoption trip. That' what's, obviously, been foremost in my thoughts this week, so you'll notice that trend in my 7 Quick Takes!

One
There are so many unknowns about our daughter for us! One of these is "How big is she?" We know that at about 2 months she was around 8 1/2 lbs which puts her in the 5% for weight here in the states. Based on that I'm estimating that now she'll be a little under 12lbs at 5 months. But her two month weight could be a weight reflecting a very low birth weight and her weight gain might be beyond the percentile curves...so she could be up to 16 or more pounds. Of course she could have dropped weight or slowed down on her growth and be still just barely past 10 lbs.

Two
This unknown means we have to bring clothes in many different sizes. I'm bringing a few 0-3 month, mostly 3-6 month, and a few 6-9 month. That goes for diapers, too!

Three
We had packed all our stuff (did a dry run) into 1 large suitcase to check, and 1 duffle-style and one small suitcase carry-ons. In our luggage we were carrying another duffle to help us transport home memorobilia and gifts. But instead we have decided to use both duffles as carry-ons and check both suitcases. Our carry-ons have all the things we "couldn't live without" (and couldn't purchase there) and a few changes of clothes for both us and the baby (my packing prowess is impressive!). On the way home we'll check everthing - except the bag with the gifts and memorobilia.

Four
I am amazed at the number of people who have offered to help - taking our kids, taking dogs, feeding the cats, loaning us travel items, calling in favors, etc. I'm not surprised - we have good friends, but I am really humbled by it all. Adoption is pretty good for gaining some humilty in many ways.

Five
Hubby and I are really looking forward to the adventure of travel ahead of us. We travel well together and enjoy visiting new places. We can't wait to see Ghana and experience the culture! I could pass on the heat, though, but there's no getting around it.

Six
In some ways, hubby and I feel like we are about to go on second honeymoon! At least it will feel that way for the first couple of days and then I suspect the baby will change that! Of course, after you've had more than one little one (especially when you get beyond 2), having just one to care for seems so easy.

Seven
Today is my daughter's 7th birthday! Happy Birthday Sweetie!


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The past week...

So, a lot has happened in the last 7 days. Some of you may be wondering exactly how we got from Adoption decree to receiving entry visas, huh?

Well, as you saw, we did pass court and recieved a final adoption decree on last Wednesday. I was at our weekly Classical Education co-op when I got the call from Erik! At that time we expected to travel in 2-3 weeks. Boy, were we in for a surprise! The next day we got an email from our agency director that we could plan on traveling in 10 days. WOW! That will make your head spin!

This adoption thing is weird. You wait and wait and wait and then when it is time to hustle you have to really HUSTLE. We had to make arrangements for our kids, dogs, cats, get our entry visas, get our airline tickets, finish gathering all our paperwork, obtain one more "approval" for the US Embassy, send payment to our adoption agency, and get some baby stuff (like diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, pacifiers, baby wash, etc)!

Saturday morning, Erik and I had a plan to go to the aiport, bank, pharmacy, FedEx shipper, and maybe the tailor. We started at the airport to purchase our tickets. Since we are doing an adoption fare (discounted, refundable tickets), they had to be purchased in person at the airline counter. We had to have a copy of our airline itinerary for our Ghana entry visas (to prove we weren't planning on staying in the country). For the visa, we had to provide a copy of the airline tickets, a bank statement (showing were are financially stable), 4 passport photos per person, and a money order to pay for our expedited visa fees. Oh, and a pre-paid fedex return envelope for them to return our passports with the visa. While we were at the bank getting the money order, we also picked up our certified check for the adoption agency. And in the middle of all that, we also managed to make it to the tailor to get some pants hemmed for Erik. Accomplishing all this took about 4 hours!

Then it was home for a quick "lunch" - which consisted of choking down half a chicken strip from my son's lunch. A quick "freshen up" and then Mom, E and I were out the door to run a couple errands and stop by a friend's house for a church meeting (and some cake to celebrate the adoption). Well, here's where it gets funny!

That little "cake" at the "meeting" was actually a huge ruse to get me to show up for my own SURPRISE Baby Shower! There were about 30 ladies attending and the most adorably decorated table and cake. I really had no idea what they were up to! Well, needless to say, after the baby shower there weren't many more things we needed to purchase for the baby before the trip. I'll post some photos later - it really was such a nice afternoon.

The past couple days we've been getting various tasks accomplished: school lessons planned, laundry done, errands run, kids clothes gathered, our clothes and travel needs gathered, etc.

Right now the kids are all packed and ready to leave this weekend to head to our dear friends' home (Hi, Pete and Karen!) in Arkansas. Then next week Erik and I leave for Ghana. Hard to believe!

I'm proud to say that we are packed with two small duffles for carry-ons. We have packed so that should our checked bags be lost, we could live for two weeks out of our carry-ons (of course purchasing what we need while in country). But I sure hope we don't have to! I'm so proud of my packing prowess (ahhhh, aliteration, don't you love it?), that I will have to post photos.

Erik and I are really looking forward to a couple days of peace and quiet between the time the kids go to AR and the time we leave for Ghana. So, please forgive us if we seem to drop off the face of the earth for those couple of days. :) It may be the last calm we have for quite some time!

Our Entry Visas for Ghana came today!

On Saturday, among many other things, including a surprise baby shower, we prepared and submitted our application for an entry visa to the Embassy of Ghana in Wash., DC. This required passport photos (x4), airline ticket itineraries, bank statements, our passports, and a money order be sent to the Embassy. We overnighted the package on Saturday for a Monday morning delivery and included a pre-paid, FedEx return envelope. Our hope was to get it back by Friday...and guess what...IT CAME TODAY!

A friend of ours was able to talk with a friend of his in the Ghana Embassy who was willing to walk our application through the process. We did pay for expedited processing, but that was way beyond our expectations!

Our departure date is getting closer and closer!