Our last evening together as a family of 5

Tonight is our last evening together as a family of 5. Tomorrow morning Erik will drive the kids halfway to AR to meet our good friends who will be taking care of them while we are gone. And the next time we are all together, God willing, we will be a family of 6. It is very strange to think about.

With adoption, I've found that while you abstractly know you will be gaining a new family member there are so many unknowns and delays, that you don't or can't really absorb that fact until it is absolutely upon you. All of this has seemed a bit like it has been happening to another family that just looks like us. :) But now, with the baby shower and our travel so imminent...it is beginning to really sink in - we will have 4 children! We will be a party of SIX! It is exciting, but there is also a bit of apprehension, of course.

I remember feeling that way before giving birth, too. "How will the baby's needs impact my other kids, family, etc." "What type of personality will the baby have?" "Are we sure we are ready for this?" etc, etc. Of course, you are never really ready for a new child in the family - you just get as ready as you can and be prepared to be flexible!

I have moments (and I suspect Erik does too) of thinking, "Why are we going through all this?" And then I reflect back to H's simplistic and lovely question, "Hey, mom, when are you going to have another baby? We've got four seats in this van, you know.", that started it all. I remember that we began walking this path because we really believed God wasn't done growing our family...we had no idea our next child would end up halfway across the world!

Then I look at her sweet, little face and remember that she has nobody able or willing to take care of her...and I KNOW why we are doing all this - She's our daughter!

A few nights ago, I had the most lovely and real dream...I dreamed that I made her LAUGH - one of those cute soft-gurgly baby laughs! It is a sound I truly can't wait to hear!